The amazing antics of one Kilgore Trout

There is such a thing as Kilgore Trout.
He is neither fat nor thin, He is not black, nor white, nor green or yellow either. He is a writer and a damn good one too, he writes all kinds of fiction. He writes about love and pain and chocolate cheese cakes. He once wrote a book that inspired a man to destroy the world, he wrote a book Pacino read. In a movie. He had three kids and loved them dearly. He spooned with mr. Rosewater. He never got to Galapagos, he was not from Indiana.
He has gray hair and thick eyebrows, blue deep eyes with a spark of madness. He was strong chiseled features and a brain the size of a whale calf. He has rough hands with fingernails bitten to the flesh and a broad, red white and blue back. Kilgore Trout is a Republican. He is also a patriot and an artist of world renown.
He is a nice man, he is. Striking in his youth he is now mottled and aged he writes about the trials of German American War Criminals. He is a good man.
In his little cot in his little room in a Mental Asylum in America, Kilgore Trout sits wide awake and dreams...

Darth Trout stares through his Troutvisor in his Troutship from a Troutsand trouts above the planet Trout. Earth, trout and fire surround him. He can rain trout on the Trout whenever he desires, he is the trout trouts are made of, and his little trout is rounded with a trout. The troutcoats were coming and he trout3d them all. He is faster than a speeding trout, in the trout, a trout, a trout, trouterman. He trouts around like there is no troutmorrow like...like...like the very trout of trout can be untrouted at the very mention of his trout. Like the only trout trouting the world together is the immense trouter of his sheer trout. He does not believe in Trout. He IS Trout. Kilgore Trout. Double-oh-trout.
He is Trout, hear him roar.